| hmmmmm |
[Apr. 24th, 2006|06:37 am] |
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why did i get out of that bed???? |
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| i cant sleep |
[Apr. 20th, 2006|04:48 am] |
most people cant sleep when they have stuff on there mind. apparently i cnat sleep wheni have nothing on my mind. i am desperate. i need sleep i crave it. but for some reason it will not have me. sleep is turning into a woman. it is beautiful it is there, but it is beyond me. i just want to lay my hands on it and rest peacefully. she just wont lay me down. what the fuck is wrong with me. why do i feel like i need to resolve myself to something.
days go by and still i think about you
day when i could not live my life without you
you
days i live with out you
days go by and still i think of you
days go by and still i dream of you
sorry it was playing on a commercal. anyways.
see my thoughts are so scattered that they arent even mine anymore. my thought are the moment i hear a word.
what would your last wish be if you were to be excuted. mine would be to smoke a joint i mean shit ihave never done it i am dying anyways no need to worry about breaking the law right. |
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| *shrug* |
[Apr. 17th, 2006|03:15 am] |
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i threw a brick through a window to see myself break. |
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| Get this |
[Jan. 20th, 2006|03:40 pm] |
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live journal just forced me to change my password. what kinda crap is that. i wasnt allowed to do a damn thing in journal until i changed it. thats bullshit man i cant believe it. |
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| haha tell me what you think |
[Jan. 20th, 2006|03:39 pm] |
 | You scored as Harry Potter. You can be a little reckless and hot-headed at times, but a more brave and courageous friend would be hard to find.
Harry Potter | | 90% | Sirius Black | | 80% | Ron Weasley | | 75% | Remus Lupin | | 75% | Hermione Granger | | 70% | Albus Dumbledore | | 70% | Ginny Weasley | | 65% | Severus Snape | | 65% | Lord Voldemort | | 60% | Draco Malfoy | | 50% | </td>
Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| wake up calls |
[Jan. 12th, 2006|11:06 am] |
there is just a certain number of things in life i like waking up to and stuff i dont.
i love waking up to seeing someone smile at me. i hate waking up to yelling. i love waking up to someone in my arms. i hate waking up to no one there if was dream there was. i love waking up to a kinda voice. i hate waking up to bad news. i love waking up to a kiss. i hate waking up to a hit. i love waking up to a day filled clear skys and sun. i hate waking up and never getting to see the sky.
i go to sleep everynight staring at the heavens. i wake every morning in my own personal hell. why are we as people not smarter. why cant wee think past 5 mintues from now. Six people i went to school with were in a severe car accident and died. all of them were younger. three guys three girls. what a waste of life and all because there is a place in louisane that does card to drink. the fucked up thing is i am not greif ridden right now. i expected to hear something like this from my old highschool. i am however sad for the girls because they were sweet people. for the guys i feel like it was Darwen in applied action. and the families i am regretful heart felt lost for words because not even i could say anything soothing at this point.
all this does for me is make me realize. life is to short for us to hold pity shit against anyone. if i have anything against anyone or anyone has anything agianst me i want to set it aside(except kevin). because if i go tomorrow i want yall to fell as if i passed as a friend to you all(except kevin).
be well all and howler at me anytime. i am currently around. i hope everyone is doing good and you are all on a road to a happier life(except Kevin). |
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| i could see it |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|01:21 am] |
 | You scored as Moya (from Farscape). You are surrounded by muppets. But that is okay because they are your friends and have shown many times that they can be trusted. Now if only you could stop being bothered about wormholes.
Coming on December 1, 2005:
Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? The Sequel
Moya (from Farscape) | | 88% | SG-1 (from Stargate) | | 81% | Nebuchadnezzar (from The Matrix) | | 75% | Serenity (from Firefly) | | 75% | Galactica (from Battlestar: Galactica) | | 69% | Enterprise D (from Star Trek) | | 63% | Millennium Falcon (from Star Wars) | | 56% | Bebop (from Cowboy Bebop) | | 50% | </td>
Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? v1.0
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| i bet you all |
[Jan. 5th, 2006|11:51 pm] |
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okay i usually hide but this i figured WTF. happy mother F***ing B-day to me. i figured i survived this long i deserved it. so yeah i am 23 haha that is really hard to say with a straight face. give me a ring. my number is (251)341-3762. i got to work at 5 so anytime at all i dont care. see yall later. |
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| so now |
[Jan. 4th, 2006|02:47 pm] |
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so now i guess i can say i have never felt the lonly. i mean i have always had my friend less then a phone call away. and now i got yall a phone and a hour. well yeah i got john the RA here. that is kewl but i still feel vacant. ill tell most people that i am holding out for Joe to make it over here. and i really would just freaking jumpig around if Carlie came too. the only reason i can hold out that long is because i remember yall. what i am saying is i wake up every morning feeling just that much more alone then before. i fucking hate it here not because of school that isnt to bad. but because of how much i feel alone. i just wish i had a good enough car to come and see yall everyday. i just want to see yall more. you know the people that count. i want to meet new people to. i mean i guess i want to grow. can i? or better yet can yall help? |
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| Learning Experience |
[Dec. 5th, 2005|01:16 am] |
today i learned something. and alot like everything thing one learns it is time to figure out if it is good or not.
today was an okay day. i had a couple laughs and a few reasons to smile. but i had one really good reason to smile. one thing that made me happy to be happy. and for that i am happy and i will sleep good tonight for it. it is nice to know your friends got your back.
much love all
and learning is important especially when it helps shape you. |
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| So i sat down one day and thought |
[Nov. 9th, 2005|08:55 pm] |
i though to myself about what i am. holy fuck why arent you people kicking my ass. i have done nothing but set myself up for failure. i mean short of being suicidal i am pretty self destructive. i question the fact of my survival to this day. i mean no one could do what i have done and not lost something. right. i mean what have i lost. and then i really thought. i have lost alot. i have lost my good times and smile.
Ryan i miss going to WOW and ordering to much food.
Colt i miss walking and staring at nothing just because it was breath taking enough to stare at.
John i miss gaming together and learn new tricks.
Jess i miss touching your ears to hear sqeek.
Carlie i miss our talks about leading a balance life and why we were good people.
Jay even though i know you dont read journal. I miss breaking down the meaning of it all.
i could go one forever and these are only a few of the things i miss. and only one of each person. trust me all of you there is so much more. i miss you all so much Colt i hope you are okay. Jay i am regretfull i lost your respect. Ryan i am sorry i am not more of BRO to you i wish we could hang out or something. Colt tell the rest of the family i miss you all alot right now. i hope someday i will earn yalls respect back.
i have decide through the coaching of a dear friend that i am not trying enough. and i am focusing on the bad to dam much. i guess it is time for my round 2 i am back in the fight and this time i am going to make every second of it count.
P.S.
thank you all mentioned and all unmention. any of you who know mean who read this. i want you to know that you all did something right. thank you. |
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| "the doctor's tell me i got a bum ticker" Harnegen |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|03:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
you ever want to do something just to feel your heart slow down. right now more then ever my heart hurts i just want eject alcohol straigh into the blood stream to see if that will either
A.) Numb the bastard
B.) slow the fucker
or the less popular
C.) kill me out right
oh well i gues that is a science experiment for another time. |
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| PASS FAIL |
[Sep. 26th, 2005|12:54 am] |
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life is pass fail situation. now the reality is. i am failing. have you ever done something and knew it wasnt what your were ment for. i go to school all the time and why. i dont know. so what if i am at a university. i want to help and protect. if i was doing something and what i was doing required me to be here that is one thing. but i am doing this to get some where. i want to be a warrior helper partner. and i know to those who i call friend i am. but not to critize yalls number because you all are dear to me. but i want to be a warrior helper partner on a greater level. i want to pass the test of life. because right now i am failing. see i know what i do is good but it is like i am part of the answer while not putting down the full thing. and this is pass or fail. so it has to be exactly right not what i got. i am not Proud of myself. i have pride and i hold myself with pride. but i am not proud of what i am doing. i want to be proud. but i guess we do always get what we want. |
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| yeah i figured |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|06:05 pm] |
You are a
Social Liberal
(61% permissive)
and an...
Economic Liberal
(30% permissive)
You are best described as a:
Democrat
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid |
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| hahaha get this |
[Sep. 17th, 2005|04:44 am] |
i just thought i would tell the masses that i keep it so could in my room the average bug cant survive. not shit the little annoying bastards freeze to death in my room. i love it. and if you cant handle it then get a coat or go home. hahahaha now what do you have to say to that.
-the cold blooded MFer
me |
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| katrina plus 4 days |
[Sep. 2nd, 2005|11:41 pm] |
it is Katrina plus 4 days. i have gotten the first sign that this BS has an end. i got a postcard it is funny how the small shit helps to calm. i just heard there voice for the first time today my mom and sister that is. they said the house is fine and all the animals are fine. i am so close to being at rest with the fact that everyone is okay. just missing one last name. now all i am waiting on is to hear that joe is okay. damn it joe turn up alive so i can go through a day with out being a zombie. i am glad to hear they are alive my mom and sister that is but i am worried now. i almost feel like the worst was the storm but the danger has yet to pass. i mean i am getting sick to my stomach from hearing stories about looters and such. i have never wanted a resolution so baddly. ill pray for every affected. god be with you all.
-JPR |
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words_of_ziggy's journal
